Saturday, March 26, 2011

Dreaming Vs. Doing

So, I was working on a card game comic, under the condition that I'd finish a chapter, then put it up, and work on it on a chapter-by-chapter basis. To try and keep my thoughts together, you see, keep it cohesive, and if it cuts off somewhere (as my comics tend to do), at least it'll be at a chapter mark. My boyfriend and I spent hours together, taking my messy written draft and building it into something new, something wonderful and complex, filled with power. Then I got to drawing.

I completed the first draft, pumping out rough scetch after rough sketch, finishing in the week. I looked back with pride, tweaked it, and began working on the images for the final draft.

But then, during the tedious long stretches of refinement, I began dreaming again.

Not about this comic, but another comic. I'd been reading homestuck, and the idea of just how complex a troll romance could be had started to facinate me. What if there was a story where someone auspiced through being matesprits to a black pairing? I dreamed and doodled during classes, building it into something, loving the idea in my head. I began thinking that I'd rather dash off a short story, something quick and fast. My card game comic would dig me in for the long term, and if I cant complete a single short story, then what was I doing writing a big year-soaking strip?

So I set out to do this little short story, the idea that it'd be done in the week.


I think it's been what, a month or two now? A month of slogging through setup, so I'd only just gotten to the part where we meet the second main character?

Yesterday, I doodled about my card game comic. I read through my drafts again and thought "damn! this is awesome! Why arent I writing this?!"

I love dreaming. I love thinking up fantastic things. but when I start to write, I run out of steam, I analyze, and I wonder what the hell I'm doing, who's going to possibly read this stuff? I mean, who the hell is reading my blog? I UNNO haha! I never have the resolve to finish anything, not unless its easy, or a lot of people are behind me. And I don't want to rely on an audience to keep me interested.

But I made a promise to myself, to no one else. I'd finish this short story before I did anything else. I made the same kind of promise before with negitive results. But this time I... I guess I know more about failing? I'm more sick of starting something and ending it with only broken dreams to show for it? How many times have I tried to start something and failed now, eight or ten? This Trollmance is a way to find my weaknesses, find the limit of my abilities, to make the creation of comics as close to my dreams as possible, and be proud of the results. And I know SOMEBODY'S gonna read this crap, it's fanfiction! It's dumb to have that as a motivation, but hey, I'm not showing anybody but my boyfriend my work until its done, so, um, THERE INTERNET!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I seem to be on an MSPAdventures high lately!
I mean, I've been reading it for a while!
But a fanfic, fanart, and a song?

This is the picture I drew for the video

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Art Update : MSPaint Adventures Fanart

A time battle between Ardia and Dave, TIME LORDS GOD TIER... RESIDENTS
Done in Paint.NET with mouse
And here's the full sized picture

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

What Have You Learned in College?

I have learned practical writing skills and a mass of half-remembered facts, of course. But the most important things I've learned are the philosophies of thought and method that I plan to follow throughout my career.

I cant think of much more to say about that, but its my answer to a question I never got to respond to.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Patrick Rothfuss

Okay, this has been nagging at me a while. A while of seeing people I love and respect throw roses and compliments in a drooling stupor.

Patrick Rothfuss, I hate your books.
Or rather, I've read and hated your first book, so I'm not going near your second, no matter how much my boyfriend assures me its awesome.

This is a matter of taste, really. I read books for the people in them. I read to see the workings of peoples minds, how they interact and affect the world around them.

Kael is the epitome of self-insert fanboy dreams. He is the guy who does everything right and always wins so we can all smile and say "ha! take that society!" Yes, bad things happen to him and he goes all mopey dopey, but that doesn't mean anything to this guy. The bad things that happen are just dragons.
Let me explain.
So, his parents are murdered and he's forced onto the street for, I dunno, two, three years? Through it he's reduced to a ball of survival and pain and a near death experience forces him to try and get past this, to try and fulfill his teacher's dream of seeing him in school. Heck, that kind of struggle could fill up an entire book, and it has. The Thief Lord is all thats coming to mind, and that was innocent tomfoolery.... But come on, you see the potential for some true heartbreak, some scarring, and an honest to goodness human struggle.
But no, it's just something in Kael's way that he has to defeat, and when he overcomes it and he's at the university, it doesn't affect him at all. He's tight with money and seeks revenge. That's the sum of this entire gut-wrenching and soul crushing experience. He doesn't find it hard to communicate or trust people, or jump at every and/or the occasional shadow, or finds it difficult to think again or anything like that. Okay, he does find it hard to think at first, but lo and behold, he gets rid of that nonsense and goes right back to being the godsend prodigy of everything forever. Living on the streets was a bad thing that he had to defeat, and it doesn't have to have any meaning beyond that. It's just another tick on his awesome-o-meter, a freaking dragon he beat once.

Really, what is human about this guy? My boyfriend says "thats the point, this is the story of a GOD/MAN" but I don't buy it. The storyteller guy is a ball of awesome. The fairy student is a ball of awesome. Everybody knows how to do things the right way and rule the everything for awesome ever. This is endemic of a lot of fantasy books, to be honest. They live and breathe in the escapism of the ultra awesome. But Drizzt feels like a real person, even as he bounces around like some kind of prodigy GOD/MAN. Humanity and escapism are not mutually exclusive.

Plus, everybody looks at Kael and says "yep, he's awesome, we're going to respect him forever." I mean, the opposite is worse, if nobody respected him even though he's so damn awesome. BUT STILL.

And, yeah, that's pretty much why I hate Patrick Rothfuss.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Body Language

Whenever I try to draw, I always like to use a lot of body language. I'm a big fan of animation speaking for itself, a big fan of visuals saying more than words. So I guess I've been trying to imitate Miyazaki for a while, with emotive hair, excessive shoulder movements... well, I don't think the shoulder thing is Miyazaki, so, maybe I'm just making stuff up.

But when I draw, its still only ever two independent bodies blabbing at one another. The last time I actually drew two bodies in contact it was just someone helping, carrying the other. And even then, they were like two separate beings, they didnt really interact. Allis didnt show how disgusted she was by this, Marke was kinda limp, but otherwise didnt really react to Allis carrying him.

But right now I'm writing a really dumb fanfic romance thing to prep myself for a big longterm project. And through it, I've found a new visual dynamic, the realm of lover's touch. Or... hate's touch? Trolls are weird, and I'm not making them any less weird in this fanfic. BUT ANYWAY.

Up until now, I've only made people move and dance and do whatever in separate spheres. Its a wonderful new idea, having these two characters almost move as one. Qilock doesnt just square his shoulders angrily at Minika, he tightly grips her shoulder and forcefully pushes her aside. To this, Minika doesnt just emptily move, she resists, and shrugs it off as part of the game. A scene I'm drawing now, Minika's cellphone device thing goes off. but as she pulls it out to look, Qilock grabs her hand to look too. Phisical contact, the close intersecting of personal spheres, only allowed by lovers. They dont need words to display how close they are (though I shamefully use a lot of them) all they need are a few key scenes of singular movement, actions that dont just react to one another, but act as one.