Sunday, May 15, 2011

I Hate This Guy

So theres this guy. Let's call hiiim.... Wowie. Yeah, Wowie. This is a blog post about Wowie, a friend of a friend in real life.

No, first, the tale of Bobby and Jim, generic fanboys of genericness.

Bobby has played all the Ultracraft games, so when some crazy lore thing happens in Ultracraft 6, he can gasp and be in awe, because he is familiar with the works firsthand.

Jim wants to play Ultracraft 6, but he doesnt want to play or cant find the older games. He learns from Bobby the lore of Ultracraft, the story up until now. So when Jim approaches the crazy lore thing in Ultracraft 6, he is given context by Bobby, and can kindve appreciate it.

Wowie has never played any Ultracraft games. He listens Bobby describe the lore of it, does a little research on Wikipedia. He learns everything he can about it from the wiki and TVtropes, yet he never picks up Ultracraft 6, or anything to do with the sieres. When Bobby and Jim start talking about the crazy lore thing, Wowie goes on and on about how amazing Ultracraft is, and how the crazy lore thing was so cool. He doesnt mention his lack of firsthand knowledge, but goes on and on about this and that, all picked up from articles he read online.

Wowie does this for every single thing. Comics, games, movies. He has no hobbies of his own, has no area where he has any real knowledge. Over the internet, its easy enough to accumulate a vast bank of secondhand sources. Anime, superheroes, tabletop games. When you have a passion, you try and find out more about it, and if you can get the information for free, all the better. But if you have a passion, and read about it, it would make you want to go and actually experience those passions. Buy Ultracraft, read MechaMech: The Mechaning, watch Zappystaff. But Wowie has a passion for other people's passions. He's watched funny reviews and read thoughtful essays, so thats good enough to run out to the dork crowd and display his pretty experience badges. Experience badges that you know he didnt make on his own, because when he talks, you know exactly which website he got that idea from.

I freaking hate Wowie. Its one thing to listen to Bobby and think "wow, I should go check out that book/movie/game." It's another thing entirely to just listen to Bobby and think its just as good as the real thing.

In conclusion: Cracked is a humor site!

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